People believe that we as humans have lost our humanity. I believe we have. However, losing one’s humanity should not be the biggest concern. Being girls, I would say, is one of the biggest concerns that we are facing today.
From our childhood, we girls are told to follow what our elders have taught us; The Rules Book Of Being A Girl. From childhood, we are treated differently and given different morals than the boys. We are told to be demure, speak when spoken to, stay in the boundaries decided and often told that despite sky being the limit, it is better we keep our feet on the ground. Somehow, these rules were made to keep us safe and protected.
A few mintues before thinking about writing this blog or rant, you might say, I watched Bollywood movie “Pink”. A courtroom drama, it is about three normal, middle class working girls (just like us all), who when fought against boys who molested them were slapped with attempt to murder and prostitution cases against them by the law and society. I am quite sure that Piyush Mehra, the director, wanted this movie to be a benchmark, and He must have wanted this movie to be a work of art, which motivated women across the world to fight for themselves. It is a beautiful movie and I am rooting for the justice but this movie makes me feel afraid.
It makes me fear men around me; question my male colleagues and double-check all my actions. It makes we wonder if my parents are right. I have always fought them for not giving me enough freedom, for not letting me enjoy my life like others, for thinking that boys can’t be friends. This movie proves them right.
Can you trust men around you? Can you be sure that they will stand with you when no one else is? Can you be sure that if you are not putting out you won’t be called a tease and if you are putting out you won’t be called a slut, whore or a prostitute?
It is not just about India, whole world is like this. If a woman gets promotion, the first thing that comes into mind of everyone is the fact that she must have slept with someone. They never think that she might be working hard or she is really great at her work. No. the only way a woman can get something is by putting out.
When we walk on road, whether it is a young or old, male or female, you are judged. You know guys, I can feel your judging stares when I stop at traffic light. I see you judging my character and me through mt clothes. At night, when I go out to buy groceries, I have cars slowing down with music blaring, waiting for me to look at them and give them a smile. (That is just gross and even psycho.)
It is this fear that stopped me from going to an office party. It was my MD’s Birthday party; whole office was there except me. All through the week I was regreting not going, wondering if I had made a right decision not to go. However, this movie makes me feel happy that I didn’t go. I knew there were going to be drinks. Even though, I don’t drink and despite the fact that I know all the males I work with, someone could have slipped something into my coke and done something wrong with me.
What I wonder about is that if boys are afraid? If these men are afraid that someone might just ravish them”? Are they afraid of losing their modesty? Are you?
Cuz, we are. Every day from waking up to going to sleep in night, all we do is make sure that we make the right decisions. Along with all of this, we have to take care of our reputation too. We have to do right by our parents, our family name and ourselves. We are judged not only by males but by females too. We are judged.
I am afraid of you all. I am afraid to speak in front of you. I have a fear that if I end up saying anything wrong I would be victim of your anger or worse your masculinity. I afraid to wear what I want because I think that you might judge my character from my clothes. I am afraid to live how I want, wondering if I might end up ruing the family name.
So tell me, should we fear you, respect you or should we trust you?
WHAT SHOULD A GIRL DO?